Infidelity
by Atthla
Summary: [Suikoden III] It is when a heart's desire becomes one of the infidelity. NashChris]


**DISCLAIMER:** Suikoden III belongs to Konami. No profit taken from this fic.

* * *

**Infidelity**

**Author: Atthla**

**Chapter One**

* * *

Sometimes fate worked in an odd way.

Who said nobody could fall in love while eating a plate of egg rolls in a dilapidated tavern of a paltry village? Had she still been the mighty captain of Zexen knights, Chris would easily dismiss the bizarre feeling playing inside her stomach as a sickness due to an over-consumption of eggs during their journey. Or even malnutrition, since she rarely ate meagerly within the walls of Brass Castle.

Many women believed that love could set its feet upon you anytime at any place. But Chris Lightfellow was no ordinary woman, nor did she believe such credulous saying. But the title and dignity of the rational captain seemed to stand against her now, when she was sitting on a hard wooden bench across a man named Nash.

Being a beautiful woman born in a noble family, Chris knew the meaning of handsome, even at her young age. Her days were accompanied to pass by more men than women as her career forced her to. She had known many handsome men; many of her comrades were idolized by town girls and young unmarried women. To assume that she had a heart as cold as ice was not altogether wrong since even if she did admit one of her friends was handsome, the female captain sensed no more than friendship it was the trust she put on them.

But definitely not in this case.

She barely knew Nash, a spy of Harmonia –as he had confessed– who sneaked into her chamber at one night with motives in fact far more decent than she initially had in mind. Since then they had traveled together, but to precisely point out for how long she had felt her heart melting at the presence of the blonde man was beyond her capability. It was all too new for Chris.

The man was not like anyone she had met before. He did remind her a bit of Percival with his flippant attitude which nevertheless bore a quality for being trustworthy when duty called. Only both of them had the courage to tease her publicly. As blasé he was around the Silver Maiden, Percival still deemed her as his captain, one to be greatly respected as well as protected, a superior in their knighthood hierarchy, while Nash treated her more like a woman.

To be a woman; it was something she had long forgotten since her father went missing years ago, the turning point of her life where she decided to follow his steps in being a valiant knight. Romance was something she had never touched and not only once or twice did she make a man well-known for his confidence walk so floppily to taverns. Every bit of her time was dedicated just for one purpose, to reach for the highest in order to find her father, or rather to make the said father –whom she believed to still be alive despite rumors– come out from his hideaway. It was her only life, solitary and determined, until she met Nash.

Things did not go as quickly as many would have guessed but still quicker than she had expected, if she did expect this to happen. His attitudes, even if it sometimes was contradictory to her principles, had never gone as far as offensive or impolite. The man knew how to place himself in any given situation, a proof of wisdom that rendered his age confession true.

Yes, his age. Despite her indifference in bagatelles such as someone's age in making friends, it was one of the points she found disturbing in Nash case. To her eyes, the bright-haired spy was a picture of many flaws even though his quality as a gentleman was nowhere near poor. He was not as eloquent as Salome save in teasing. He was not as bold as Borus, nor was he as elegant as Percival. Leo defeated him immensely in the strength department while Roland's calmness was matchless.

But Nash was Nash and in all of imperfections he was engulfed, Chris felt more to him than mere friends should. She replied in the most foolish fashion to his teasing –somehow she always managed to lose the coolness she usually emitted to answer Percival's banter when the blonde man had this amused gleam in his eyes.

"What is my pretty lady thinking?"

Her chopsticks stopped from rotating a piece of egg roll as she looked up, finding a pair of blue eyes focused on her. It was _that _gleam again. Suddenly she felt like her stomach was squeezed from the inside. Her voice seemed to betray her too that she could only force herself to glare at him.

"What?" Nash raised his thick eyebrows at the glare. "I didn't say anything wrong. You are a lady and you are pretty."

Inwardly Chris sighed. It was those things he always said, things that she would ignore if _he_ was not Nash, which made her state even more miserable. She wondered if that kind of attitude indeed had never put the married man into trouble before.

Still receiving no answer, Nash nodded at his companion's nearly untouched plate and commented, "You can't even eat food below your standard, Lady Chris?"

Another banter. It was time for the man to learn how hard actually the leader of Zexen Knights was. With a cold tone of voice she replied, "I've had worse in battlefield."

Nash usually was quickly at countering remarks but now only silence greeted her. The pair of eyes which were staring so intently at her was clouded with something she could hardly decipher. Her heartbeat increased with each passing second, yet Chris could not find her voice to ease the numbing awkwardness. Whatever had gone between them had never reached this level of discomfort before.

"Right, you're the Silver Maiden," finally Nash opened his mouth. There was a tinge of melancholy in his voice, which made Chris wonder that something had reminded him to his wife. Then suddenly, like waves wiping off all of the uneasiness written on the shores, the amused gleam reappeared in his eyes. Chris was still too bewildered to react that she could only stare at the spy snatching the remaining of her egg rolls and shoving them into his mouth. Then with the light carefree tone he regularly used, Nash continued, "I'll go check if there is any room left for us."

The silver-haired knight rose as well, which earned her a dejected look from her friend. It was not that she still doubted Nash and his intentions; it was herself that she doubted. And she obviously had no intention to spend the whole night tortured by her secreted feeling with Nash being in the same room.

Perhaps the Goddess was turning her back at her due to the desertion she chose over the fate of her country, because at the next moment she heard the innkeeper said, "I'm really sorry, Sir, but there is only one room left."

Nash was quick to answer. "We'll take that." Then he shot Chris an amused glance, adding playfully, "Don't kill me in your sleep, my lady."

But Chris knew better than to be fooled by the joking remark. It was not their first time to get only one room and every single time the spy always found excuses to eventually spend his night outside. She might be wary of the impact Nash might bring by sleeping in the same room with her but she was not selfish.

"You are going to sleep inside," she said flatly, eyes two pieces of firm orbs. "Or I'll sleep outside also."

For the second time on that day, the blonde man lost his ability to speak as silence reigned over them. The innkeeper glanced at her guests with interest looming in her eyes, probably judging the relationship of the two.

"Of course, if you feel guilty to your wife, I'll sleep outside," Chris continued. "It's my turn now."

There was a gasp coming from the innkeeper, which pulled the blonde man out of his silence. A quick smile appeared on his lips as he waved his hand nonchalantly. "I will not have that, my lady. Of course I trust myself to be roomed with you, that if you don't mind."

The female captain nodded formally and gave the innkeeper –who had her hand covering her mouth in surprise– a stern look. She yelped at the glare and immediately retrieved a key from her drawer. Her female guest seemed to be a worthy warrior and being a helpless woman that she was, she decided not to give a reason for the guest to draw her sword.

"Please follow me," she said meekly, leading them to a flight of stairs. Behind a plain wooden door at the end of the stairs was their room, a small chamber filled with nothing much but a bed, a table, and a chair. The innkeeper took her leave with a slight bow and a wish to enjoy their stay as soon as her guests had stepped in, as if she was afraid to disturb the pair more than minimally necessary. Nash shook his head in amusement and dropped his meager belongings on the floor.

"I'll leave the key here," he put the somewhat rusty key on the table and headed to the door.

"You will sleep here, Nash," Chris said at the indication that the man would once again try to sneak out and spend his night outside.

"Yes, my lady, I remember that. I'm just going to look around to find more information," he replied, then added with a playful wink, "Don't worry, I will not leave you even if your goddess comes to chase me away."

If it was any other man saying that to her, Chris would have slashed him in two. But she remained silent, watching the blonde spy to disappear behind the door.

Once she was alone in the room, her body slumped onto the chair. The seemed-so-frail chair gave out a small creak at her weight but she could hardly spare any care to it. Nash left, taking with him a great weight on her shoulders, which convinced her even more that it was indeed _guilt_. She felt _guilty_ for liking a married man. Being a honorable knight, she intensely despised disloyalty, but now that she had experienced it herself, the once-so-stern captain learned to accept one fact. Heart spoke, often acted beyond where sense and reason reigned.

She sat there motionlessly for nearly an hour, hands covering half of her face. She needed to collect her calmness, which was nearly shattered in Nash's presence, before the man returned. Chris believed in her self-control but seeing the depth of blue in Nash's eyes, the word _infidelity _seemed to stab her more cruelly. Her brink of patience was approaching and she could barely imagine what she would do when it did arrive. Every slight touching of hands, every warm of smile, every little thing Nash did put it a step closer.

The only Chris Lightfellow she recognized was one of the honored Six Zexen Knights, but Nash slowly but steadily erased the warrior within her and replaced it with a woman's soul. She had changed during their short journey, into someone she hardly knew and Chris was scared of it.

The night had grown old when she heard Nash's footsteps come approaching. The door swung open and the spy appeared, a hearty smile brightening his countenance. In his hand was a paper bag filled by red bean buns.

"Late night snack, my lady," he said cheerfully, presenting them under her nose. "I hope you will eat even just a little."

A glimmer of light in her eyes, which had emerged once Nash set his feet on their room, died in an instance. It was because these little acts; these trivial acts of kindness had weakened both her heart and her will to remain unaffected by the man. With a forced smile, she reached forward to take a still-hot bun, silently praying for the journey to end before she did anything irreversible.

Because if it lasted any longer, she might not be able to return to be the Chris Lightfellow she knew, the hardhearted captain of Zexen Knights.

To be continued

* * *

**Notes:** My first –and probably my last– fic with a straight pairing. I can hardly resist the temptation to write though, because Nash/Chris is so cool. The next chapter –and most likely the last too– will tell more about Nash but since I know so little about him, can anyone tell me who this missus Nash always talks about is? Is he really married? I don't understand Japanese so I can't play Suikogaiden.

The last but not least, thank you for reading! Please tell me your opinions of this fic!


End file.
